Prayer of My Fearful Self

Do you see me when I struggle to hold onto the peace you tell me to feel?  I can feel the difference in my life since I started standing in the light.  I can feel my heart and soul blooming and my blessings are countless.  Am I falling short of your love when I wait for the bottom to fall out of my happiness?  When my mind dwells in the worst “what if’s” and I worry endlessly and pointlessly about the possibility and probability of the worse case scenario?  Am I worthy of a life in your light without the shadow of my past chasing my happiness?

I pray to you to give me the peace to accept the path you set out for me.  I am so grateful for your love and for your persistence in seeking my gaze.  I see you now and I feel your love.  I love life in your light.  I love your word and your beauty.  I am blessed beyond my imagination and your light has started to shine in every corner of my mind. Even the darkest corners are being lit up in the brilliance of your agape love.  Please forgive me for my brokenness and help me forgive myself for the times I’ve hurt others with my jagged edges.  Please continue to bless me in a way I can live happily to see my children grow.  Please help me make a difference in this broken world.  Please allow me to live exceptionally well in a way that honors you and reflects your light within this world.

Things are so scary and you’re my comfort.  Thank you for your right hand and for your unchanging and unconditional love.  Please guide my thoughts and help me speak in truth only.  Please help me be the best me I can be in your image.  Please, God, please. Please let this fear leave me and peace be poured into its place.  I’ve been filled with fear and shame for too long and I’ve grown weary from the battle against these demons.  I’m ready to feel whole and healed.

Amen.

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