I love these boots. When I bravely drove myself into the neighboring town’s farm store, I was seeking these boots. These are my “I gotta mow in copperhead territory” boots and I put them on today with every intention of using them. But then I remembered that the tree guy is coming tomorrow and maybe I can just ask him to take care of the yard while he’s here…because, while I’ve proven I CAN manage this yard by myself, I simply do not want to. I’m still in the process of turning this hunting cabin into the Peace Sanctuary, but the yard has been hard to tame and it’s a jungle of poison ivy, plants with thorns, and all things that bite, sting and buzz. There is a whole lot that’s been going on lately and right now isn’t the time to be bitten stung or buzzed. Well…maybe it’s time to be “buzzed,” but anyway…) So…it’s more fun to sit on my couch, wearing my garden boots and writing while I indulge shamelessly in more episodes of “Parenthood” on Netflix. And this makes me happy.
I did a good thing this weekend. I traveled (again…all by myself) the two hours to my daughter’s home in Kansas City. I’ll say this again: I do not understand how the rest of you can drive without fear. It seems like everyone is driving angry, rushed and so distracted. It’s like a damn video game out there and I never was any good at video games. But I digress… My daughter and her husband hosted me and my stressed out pup for four wonderful days filled with river markets, Thai food and (truly) one of the best visits we’ve had in years. Even my puppy had a chance to be playful again; rolling around in the grass and playing in a way that made me cry from joy. A couple of weeks ago, she almost died from a bug bite in my
front yard jungle and she isn’t necessarily on board with my whole “I’ve found a great place to call home!” euphoria. But bless her heart…she sure was a happy girl this weekend in KC. And so was I.
My sudden and mostly unannounced exit from my hometown has created some hard feelings. While a very small handful of my friends and family know exactly where I am and what I”m doing these days, I’ve purposely kept my circle small. When my phone chirps with the message “I miss you” from a number that’s not in my contacts list, I know that it’s from someone I’ve left behind. And I have to remind myself that it’s okay to put myself first and filter my circle to be filled with only those who fill me up with positive energy. Sometimes I feel the need to explain myself or reach back out in a reply that wouldn’t be authentic in order to meet other’s expectations of me…but then I remember that I don’t do that anymore. I’m on a journey of healing and I am well loved by the people I have along with me for the trip. And this is a beautiful thing.
Earlier this week I went in for medical tests I’ve been dreading for over two years. Yesterday I received a message from my doctor letting me know all of the tests were good and I’m healthy. I’m still adjusting to the good news, having prepared myself for the worst and having spent so much time and anxious energy believing the proverbial “other shoe” was getting ready to drop on my happy little dream in the Ozark Hills. But I prayed my little prayer like the preacher at Redeemer Kansas City told me to pray this last Sunday and I let a little piece of my heart believe my prayer was being heard. And then yesterday, my prayer came true. And maybe there are some skeptics who will roll their eyes about the whole faith and answered prayers things…and I don’t blame them at all. I have rolled my eyes for the same reason many times in the past. I’m not here to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t believe. But in telling my own story, all I know is that the more I believe, the more beautiful life becomes and the more peace and joy I find in my days. And that, in itself, is absolutely an answered prayer.